...i am not the cool mom...

I realize there is a role I often play.
It is the "not cool" role!!
And I am now playing that at my kiddos school.
Maybe if you have kids in school you know what I mean?
Mom's get together, and it just seem like comparison abounds.
Its not said out loud, but its in the air.
Who's wearing cute stuff, who's hair is just right, who has the best house.
Who's kid is smart, does well in sports, is musical.
And the one that gets me the most... who has the most spectacular birthday parties.

Ok, I realize I am sounding judgey.
I apologize.
But I am judgey.
Not to the Mom's.
Not to the people.
But I do judge the spirit of comparison.
How it robs us of security.
It keeps us from real friendships.
It stops us from opening up, being ourselves.
It puts so much pressure on us, when the last thing we need is more pressure.
It keeps us from being free.

So I'm  not going to play.
I will run to drop him off in my sweats and messy hair.
I will wear whatever I need to wear, and make an effort when I feel like it but only because I feel like it.
I will not get into the flow of one-upping.
I will care about other Mom's, and help them to shine.
I will love on the "sporty" mom who thinks she has to know every NFL score and baseball players name.
I will love the "perfect" mom for her heart, and not let her appearance impact me one way or the other.
I will talk to the shy mom, who may often be mistaken for snooty and stuck up.
I will try a hug on the stand-off-ish mom, just to see if she really is.
I will talk about my struggles, my failures, my hatred of birthday party pressure.
I will do my best to be real.
I will be un-cool.

Wanna be un-cool with me??

...come on over...

Ok, back to beating the dead horse... of organization.  kind of.

(maybe I should quit typing and start organizing?  hey - be nice!)

thinking today...  i wanna be the kind of person that gets the response:

"come on over!"

here's the thoughts behind that....
the last, let's say 6 years, my house has been in various states of chaos.
does that correspond to when my first was born?  why yes, yes it does!

so for six years i have dreaded people dropping in.
with warning (preferably at least a day) i can be ready.
not perfect, but back to a state of chaos that is acceptable to me.
but drop ins make my tummy hurt!

and truly, i am not an overly done up person.
i am not a perfectionist.
in fact, i would rather have a not-so-done-up-lived-in-house
for the simple fact that i don't want to be about performance.
but i have a limit that is acceptable (we probably all do) and for most of the time
this house is crossing that line.
i think my range is somewhere between cluttered-lived-in all the way to diapers-on-floor-dirty-dirty.
when it gets in the dirty range, something has gotta happen and i don't want no one seeing that.

but there are a few people in my life who i don't care.
1.)  they've seen it before.  and they lived.  and i lived.
2.)  they know and love me.  messy and all.
3.)  i know from their lives that i am important to them, period.

and that's who i wanna be.
i want my friends to know they can call me if they need help
or company
or whatever.
that if i'm dropping by to pick something up, they don't have to panic and stash and cram.
that they are just relaxed,
i come in without knocking,
and either slide a pile over a sit down
or sit together and fold/put away/wash while we chat.

i want that in a physical sense - but also in a spiritual/relational sense.

i want people around me to know they don't have to be put together, or look polished, with me.
that they can be themselves - cluttered, dirty, broken sometimes - and I can come over.
without knocking.
see things as they are.
know its not always this way, not judge, and either sit with them or help with the clean up.
and i wanna be able to do the same.

I think that is real relationship.
And that, to me, is way more important than a clean house.
(sorry house.)